dreams that were merely bad, sir, would be a great relief to me.

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen Movie

In any kind of film adaptation, differences from the original work are bound to crop up. Nevertheless, many LOEG fans have been chagrined at some of the reported changes being made for the upcoming movie; changes such as the reduction in importance of Miss Murray's character, and the addition of Tom Sawyer to the cast of characters. I, being one of those abovementioned chagrined fans, have attempted to console myself by saying that it could have been worse. How much worse? Gentle Readers, I present you with the cast list from the screwed-up alternate universe version of the movie, aptly re-titled:

The League of Extreme Gentlemen

starring:

Sarah Michelle Gellar as Wilhelmina Murray

Ben Affleck as Allan Quatermain

Samuel L. Jackson as Captain Nemo

Jeff Goldblum as Dr. Henry Jekyll

Bobcat Goldthwait as Edward Hyde

Gilbert Gottfried as Hawley Griffin

Hayden Christensen as Tom Sawyer

Orlando Bloom as Huckleberry Finn

Chris Rock as Jim

Harrison Ford as young Henry Jones Sr.

Hugh Jackman as Wolverine

and:

Pierce Brosnan as Campion Bond

Judi Dench as James Moriarty

Kelsey Gramer as Sherlock Holmes

William Shatner as Mycroft Holmes

Jet Li as Fu Manchu... whoops, I mean Dr. Not-Appearing-In-This-Film.

Instead, Our Heroes will be pitted against:

John Cleese as Adolf Hitler's Grandfather

The Rock as The Scorpion King

John de Lancie as Lord Voldemort